Bubblegum

T.T.T.O. Avraham - 8th Day

Sitting on a hot metal chair, you were told, don't sit over there
It's old and rusty, don't sit down, but your feet were in pain, and no other place
So you sat down a tired man, the time passed by, and there was no problem
Try to get up from the chair, and then you realized
Master of the world, I hate my life

Chorus:
Bubblegum, which idiot put you under me?
I'll clean that pesky stain you put on me
I know that you, can't be cleaned with a tissue
So icky on my side, you got saliva inside
I'll clean you, when I get home

My pants go through every test
Now look, it's smaller, that little pest
But my pants get torn, when it's almost away
And all that hard work, just didn't pay

It's felt like 3000 years
That I've been fighting back all the tears
One man here dreaming, my pants will survive
Master of the world, I hate my life

Chorus 

You're sticky and you're pink, and a little you do stink
No hand would hold you, some stranger did forget you

Chorus 

Written during Adar 5776

My Little Bed

Parody of "The Little Bird"

My little bed is calling
It wishes to be used
My little bed is comfy
It cannot be abused

I'm captured by its blanket
Sleeping peacefully
Oh to see my bed again
Oh to go to sleep

My little bed with pillows
So delicate and soft
It still is so very distant
From yeshiva to my home

How long how long the walk is
How long will it be
When will I reach my home
And finally go to sleep

My little bed is royal
The yeshiva is our foe
The painful walk is endless
Our feet we feel and groan

The bed is very far
Where we yearn to sleep once more
And the blanket is so very warm
Protects us from the storm

Written during Adar 5776

Blow Your Nose

Parody of Celebrate - 8th Day

Sitting in class, time to learn again
I hear that noise, it's only nine am
It's really drivin' me insane
It's just not leavin' leavin'

Someone in here's usin' a tissue
I tell him here's the issue
If you're tryin' to be nice man
Listen to my advice man

Chorus:
When you go blow your nose
Be sweet now don't be gross
Blow it in the bathroom
We don't need to hear your boom

When noise you need to make
Causing the room to shake
Go away make your earthquake
Give us a much needed break

Rap:
Next time you need to let it go
Go away let it blow
Pretend like it's diarrhea
Like it's diarrhea 
[Last time Diarrhea] X4

Written Iyar 5775

The Bathroom

Download Audio

Parody of It's time to go - Holding Hands United - CCH

I sit alone my ears start popping
You’re leaving now, my mother’s shouting
My suitcase filled with such emotion
What to bring and what to leave was such a commotion

It’s time to go, the bus starts driving
I take my seat, and I burst out crying
I can’t believe, we started moving
There is one thing I forgot to do
Bathroom where are you

The bathroom, you are never close nearby

As I hold it in, it brings tears to my eyes

The bathroom oh the restroom

I need you so, I gotta go

The bathroom X2

It's time to go

Written in Camp Chayolei Hamelech 5773 and YLC 5774

You are so dumb

Parody of "You Are My Home" - CGI

The summer gets dumber, it’s boring anew
Campers unloaded everyone says hoorey
My eyes gaze with sadness across the same old scene
I can’t believe I came back, what was I thinking

I think I messed up badly, coming to my room
The same story how will I sleep here at night
The good attitude I started, left immediately
The second I saw the people who did attend

You are so dumb and so spoiled
You will never make it in life at all this way
If a bear would come to camp, you all would be dead
For you would go give it a hug, you’re so Chai B’seret
The fact that you are still alive, although you’re so dumb
It’s a miracle for you, you did not choke on chewing gum

But now that I’m here and you are also
I’ll say clearly how I feel, about you this very day
I know you’re totally insane, although you’re only ten
Because you were raised in a place I don’t belong
I don't want to know you dumbbells
The memory of your stupid face, is still stuck in my head
I hope one day I will forget you
Be gone you dumbbell

Written in CGI Florida 5774

Night Activity Song - CGI 5775

T.T.T.O. Milmala - Meydad Tasa
T.T.T.O. Na Elokim - Meydad Tasa

Sit tight in your chair, that moment is here
You can feel it from that guy up there
You cannot wait for what's comin' tonight
We’re Takeh about to take flight

But don’t sneeze in this room
Farshtunken noses clean with a broom
Although it’s Chassidish to do
To shower from someone’s Hachoo

Chorus:
Night activity it’s totally wacky
Here in CGI year 60
Cause Shmoozel Leemanov is Mamesh Meshugi
His middle name is ibivigidihivizichitiyikichiliminisieipifitzikirishisitisi

Written for Night Activity in CGI 5775

Night Activity Song - CGI 5775

T.T.T.O. Yagga - Eli Schwebel

Oooh waaa eiii oohhh oooh oh it's night activity
Oooh waaa eiii oohhh oooh Shmoozel makes me crazy

Hey CGI whatcha doin' now
Whatcha sayin' it's time for
Night activity in year 60

What is this that what we doin' here
Who is that guy up there
Is this thing even Chasidi
Chasidi enough enough enough for me

It's not about being Vild
It’s about having fun
Fun is just really fun
When you have a fun time with it
Everybody it's that moment that we love
So together let's sing

Hey CGI whatcha doin' now
Whatcha sayin' it's time for
Night activity in year 60
Crazy, wacky, Meshumeshugi

Chorus:
Night activity, dancin' now feels right
It's time for jumpin', Freilach through the night
Once you see Shmoozel Leemanov yeh come alive
So c'mon c’mon Hachoo Un Tzigezunt Zein

Oooh waaa eiii oohhh oooh oh it's night activity
Oooh waaa eiii oohhh oooh Shmoozel makes me crazy

It's not about...

Written for Night Activity in CGI 5775

I'm a Bum Bum Bum

Parody of Bum Bum - Benny Friedman

In my Yeshiva I can't get
A device that would let
Videos playing for me

So I get every new CD
And put it on my MP3
So I don't go crazy

Bum bum bum I'm a bum bum bum
I'm listening to Benny while I'm in Yeshiva
Bum bum bum such a bum bum bum
Singing in the hallway (they) calling me Meshiga

Written after Pesach 5775

Never drink caffeine

T.T.T.O. Who spilled the milk (Marvelous Midos Machine 1)

When you are tired lying on the floor (caffeine caffeine)
When you are drowsy bumping into the wall (better drink caffeine)
My head can't work with all this pain (caffeine drink caffeine)
How will I get through I feel drained (better drink caffeine)

Midvar coffee Tirchak, never drink caffeine
You know just what will happen, I'm not trying to be mean
Just drink tea it's better and you won't get dizzy too
So don't have coffee cause you know it's not healthy for you

Written in YLT 5775

אברהם פריד Avraham Fried

T.T.T.O. Yosef Mokir Shabbos - Yom Tov Ehrlich - Murdered in Yiddish Gems 2 by Avraham Fried

הערט א מעשה ליבע אידן
פון דעם מענטש האט איר געליטן
און געוויס איר אלע פון עם ווייסן

ער האט גע'הרג'עט יעדער ניגון
און אזוי אלעמען שפילען
אברהם פריד האט דער זינגער געהייסן

א גרויסער מענטש געווען
אלע האבן עם געזען
אבער זיי האבן נאר געוואוסט
ווי צי זינגען ווי עם פוסט

און פרייטיק צונאכט
האט דער זינגער מיט זיינע קינדער פארבראכט
צובראכן יעדער גלאז
וואס איז געווען דארט אין זיין הויז
און געזונגען אויך
יעדער תנועה פון זיין בויך

Written in Toronto 5775

Spelt

T.T.T.O. Gelt - Lipa

Young and old

They’re always told

Never have bread that has mold

And they’re right, listen to them, otherwise you will get hurt

Then they you meet

On the street

A piece of bread they will not eat

They would rather sit on the ground eating up the dirt

You try to explain

The bread is plain

There’s nothing wrong, don’t be insane

They’re always eating spelt,

They’re always fressing spelt,

They think they’ll be dead, if they eat bread

So they’re just eating spelt

A stomachache they felt

When with bread they dealt

So now all day, they fress away

Eating disgusting spelt

But they don’t realize

That when they eat fries

It has the same curse

If not worse

Although fries you can take

And get no stomachache

It is what kills you

You don’t know what to do

 Written in Yeshivas Lubavitch SI 5769

Comedy Song - Color War CGI Florida 5774

T.T.T.O. Never afraid - 8th day 

Dirt road path, crocs in the bath
And the campers don’t shower, the bunks smell for hours, Friday there is no power
The food is great, but I came late
Nothing left so mean, I go to canteen, cause…

Shmayonke’s weird, old men with beards
And some staff are so young, but they are so strong, in the kitchen war
Pizza all the time, I counted nine
I am cryin’, cause there is a bathroom line, cause…

The PA sound, heard all around
And the head staff in the hall, try to make themselves tall, but it can’t be controlled, it’s off the wall
The hall has a new floor, but there’s no canteen store
But I have what to eat, Chef Nissen’s meat, cause…

Menachem’s screaming
Campers dreaming
Staff are cleaning
AC’s freezing
I’m gonna lose my mind
I’m gonna lose my mind X2

Swimming no, thunder all day
Night activity no, it’s taken away
Piano oh no, it’s playing all day
Move it again and get it out of the way
Move it again and get it out of the way

Swimming no, thunder all day
Night activity no, it’s taken away
Piano oh no, it’s playing all day
Move it move it move it move it move it
Move it move it move it move it move it
Move it move it move it
Get it out of the way

Cause Menachem’s screaming…

Grammen - Color War 5774 CGI Florida

Leibelovitch, Leibelovitch

Tzivos Hashem is really great

But 54321 I really hate

But Leibelovitch, Leibelovitch

What are you gonna to do when you’re not here

Hopefully you’ll find a bed to sleep till next year

Menachem Klein, Menachem Klein

You wanted to win color war so badly

That you made Schneur Gansburg our general so gladly

But Menachem Klein, Menachem Klein

Let me give you some advice

Eat some spinach and you’ll grow real nice

CB, CB

Always running around as an aid

But no one knows how much you get paid

CB, CB

It must be a lot

Why else would you work when it is so hot

Chef Nissen, Chef Nissen

Your food I must say is great

I gained some pounds since I last checked my weight

But Chef Nissen, Chef Nissen

How did you become a judge

They probably told you, you won’t have to budge

Moshe Aharan, Moshe Aharan

The PA system that you use

Is getting annoying, stop the abuse

But Moshe Aharan, Moshe Aharan

Whenever learning class does conclude

All the learning teachers are in a bad mood

Game room, game room

You’re such a waste of time

But to have some foosballs wouldn’t be a crime

But game room, game room

The race game isn’t fair

Because all the high scores are from the staff that are here

Menachem Lifshitz, Menchem Lifshitz

Talking on the mic a whole day

Was that the condition for you to get a pay

But Menachem Lifshitz, Menchem Lifshitz

All the campers would agree that their ears

Will be ringing with your voice for many years

Schneur Gansburg, Schneur Gansburg

In general you’re very quiet

All of sudden now you have to make a riot

But Schneur Gansburg, Schneur Gansburg

If the golf cart key I would shred

You would have to walk from the bathroom to your bed

Dovid Leib, Dovid Leib

You think you know how to drive

But really it’s a miracle that we actually arrive

But Dovid Leib, Dovid Leib

This is not Israel my friend

Here people don’t like when their car gets a dent

Shmoozel, Shmoozel

You make up night activity on the spot

By making kids tie strings and not measuring in the parking lot

But Shmoozel, Shmoozel

Your cards you gave are quite wacky

But no one knows what their point is exactly

Ziggy, Ziggy

From night activity to counselor you were demoted

In ranch camp you must have been way too devoted

But Ziggy, Ziggy

One thing I must say

Bunk Ayin should learn from how you control bunk Pey

Sruli Edrei, Sruli Edrei

B’kitzur I must tell you to the point

Stop giving your speeches in this joint

But Sruli Edrei, Sruli Edrei

A Mashpia one day you will be

Almost like your brother in 770

Motti Jacobson, Motti Jacobson

If you don’t get dum dums you blow a fuse

Halo Achi take it easy take a cruise

But Motti Jacobson, Motti Jacobson

The AC in your bunk “broke”

It’s a shame that the breakout was a joke

Yudi Meltzer, Yudi Meltzer

The fact that your head lifeguard is a joke

You couldn’t save me, your license I would revoke

But Yudi Meltzer, Yudi Meltzer

Thank you for coming here

Because now your color war team we can smear

Yeshivas Cincinnati

T.T.T.O. Upside-down (Megilas Lester)

Can’t believe how messed up this place has gotten
Seems to just get worse the more I try
I’m barely alive, there’s nothing to eat, it’s all really insane
The only Shliach for Shiur Aleph is Mordechai

Can’t believe how incorrect it’s gotten
Topsy-turvy nothing’s going right
Now some kid takes all my supper, how can this be?
Seth left some Bochurim in Wal-mart for the night

Oh, it’s upside down, in Cincinnati there is no one to fix it
Upside down for sure no doubt
We’re barely alive, we will survive, once we use our Chinese ticket
Upside down and inside out

It’s just doesn't make any sense, without Barry who would even entertain this Yeshiva?
Erez? The old lady? Hmm.

How could the game room have been forsaken
Why was it only used for a quarter year?
Now at least there’s food for Barry thanks to that kid
Tonight we’ll hear Chony, Myd Wolf is here

This is upside down, I’m not a Menahel, I’m a Maggid Shiur
Upside down and getting worse
Upside down who spilled the garbage in middle of the hallway
Upside down smells like a horse

Upside down someone control before the building collapses
Upside down another fight
Upside down write to Igros for Divine intervention
Rebbe fix this place tonight
Please Rebbe fix this place tonight

Written in YLC 5774

Tissues

T.T.T.O. Oh Rebbe

With a runny nose he sat through the night

Pondering deeply into his plight

His nose feels like it’s filled concise

Oh where is a tissue he cries

Three times a day he would blow his nose

We won’t get into detail the shnatz that flows

How can he live when the tissues are gone

Nothing to stop his nose run

Tissue oh tissue we need you

If not we will have a big issue

Bring me some tissues to clean up this mess

I don’t want to use my dress

Tissue oh tissue we need you

How long can this problem continue

We’re sick and our nose needs some tissues and how

Bring me a tissue right now

Written in YLC 5774

Dorm Counselor

T.T.T.O. Neshomole (Abie Rotenberg)

Come with me, dear Bochur'el, let me make you understand
You must walk away, no matter the weather, to the dorm Yeshiva is banned
Come with me, dear Bochur'el, don't ignore away, do as you're told
There's a dorm counselor waiting for you to go today, you're to be in the dorm, right away

But dorm counselor. No! I don't want to go
There's so much fun and action in Yeshiva down the road
Let me stay here up in Zal, there's so much more I need to do
Please don't make me go away, can't you see the dorm's insane

Come with me, dear Bochur'el, it's time you faced your destiny
In 10 seconds be there or I will show you, there is so much you can be charged

Yes, dorm counselor, I am in the dorm over here
Look, I'm in pajamas, the lights are off and I don't care
I won't make noise if you answer me, it's all I need to know
You must let me dear buddy, I need my laundry too

Listen to me, dear Bochur'el, oh, it's a task I get paid to do
As I Knas you once again you will stay in bed, you're wasting time, good-night to you

[Interlude]

Get out of bed, dear Bochur'el, let me help you wash your hands
You must go away, with your class together, to Seder Chasidus, do you understand

But dorm counselor no! I don't want to go
I'm not ready to go learn now, why you wake me I don't know
Let me stay right where I am, where it's comfy and I'll rest for sure
Please don't flip my mattress over, stop throwing all the water

Come on now, dear Bochur'el, why can't you ever make up you're mind
There's one thing I know now for certain, you people are one of a kind
Bochurim are one of a kind

Written in YLC 5774

Mattress

T.T.T.O. All you need is a story (The Golden Crown)

All you need is a mattress, a wonderful mattress

There's so many kinds you can choose

Memory foam, and the ones that are blown

Whatever it is you can snooze

Written in YLC 5773

Reveille tapes

Two reveille tapes I made for summer 5773 in Camp Chayolei Hamelech:
Download Audio

Download Audio

Lyrics from the song on the 9 days reveille tape 2 minutes in:
It's another beautiful day, here in camp Chayolei
So get up right away, and Modeh Ani say X2
Oh, it's time to get out of bed
Oh, make sure you don't hit your head
Oh don't drink your Negel Vasser bowl
If you do, say Shehakol X2

Lyrics from the song on the 9 days reveille tape 17 minutes and 33 seconds in:
Tha PA is so cheap, doesn't let us sleep
The PA manager is quite odd, when he plugs in his iPod
The PA manager is a fool...

Camp Chayolei Hamelech Comedy Song Color War 5773

T.T.T.O. The Big Event

Chorus (sung between each paragraph):
Mendy Turen is horse oh no!
Spaghetti is the main course oh no!
I lost my Shmoyonke oh no!
I never could see night activity!

Every morning I can’t hear a thing
The bunkhouse speakers are blasting
I sleep through the whole beginning
The only part I know is the ending

Noodles and cheese everyday
My waiter I forgot to pay
Where is the tip Kacha by mistake
I might have used it to hook up a steak

There’s a wanna be head counselor in this camp
At making noise he is the champ
Tzivos Hashem he tries to do
His learning class looks like a zoo

There was also a former head counselor here
Why he left I’m not aware
His Moitzei Shabbos speeches were extra long
Can’t figure out why they all went wrong

Sports in camp can’t be beat
If we could have them it would be neat
If hockey we get to play
We’re around camp chasing the ball all day

Kipa V’diglon he doesn’t wear
Maybe it would help if again we’d cheer
If this doesn’t work then I give up
Together let us all Drei him A Kup

Yossi Elmon Kippa Vdiglon…

There is someone in camp who is such a Chnun
I think he landed from the moon
In a few minutes he will turn around
And his pants will be falling down

I stole suspenders from Grossbaum his pants are falling down, his pants are falling down

That’s all the jokes I have for now
At this late hour I would like to take a bow
Thank you all for listening
Hey! Why are all the campers sleeping?

Bunk Chof's Cheer Gan Israel Montreal 5772

T.T.T.O. Frenchies go

We’re bunk Chof, we’re really tough
We’re takeh made from the best stuff
Just take a look, gib nur ein kuk
You’ll see that we’re above

Yes we’re bunk Chof, we said enough
And what we said is nisht kein bluff
We can’t thank all you enough far di greene stuff

Bashing crashing dashing clashing
Bunk Chof’s cheer is totally smashing
Going blowing never slowing cause we’re on a roll

Bunk Chof really got the power
Cause we never take a shower
The greatest bunk in CGI here in Montreal

Gan Israel Montreal comedy song color war 5772

T.T.T.O. Ashrei

Chorus:
Welcome to Gan Israel where everyone is crazy
The only camp where the cook steals a baby
Dbaga's off the wall
And the ref's can't make a call
And the head staff have no control at all

Maggid Shiur

T.T.T.O. Daddy dear

מגיד שיעור, tell me please, is it true what they say

I will get it over my Kup, if I don’t learn each day

And I heard that your pen, is your number one mate

And you use it to mark us, each time that we’re late

My friends told me מגיד שיעור, will you tell me the same

That if I fail a single test, I will feel all the pain

I will fry, I will cry, far away, in the sky

Tell me why מגיד שיעור, should I believe all these lies

Stupid one, stupid one, it is true yes it’s true

My teacher told me years ago, and my friends told me too

Students cry from the burden, and my pen writes their name

When I hit, boy it hurts, yes you’ll feel all the pain

I have no pity on your cries, as your Kup, I badly blow

Till one day, when I’m done, all my troubles will go

I will dance, I will fly, in the sky, like the birds

And you’ll fry, stupid one, for the things you have done

My friend Moshe, come over here, help me please if you will

We must stop, this wicked man, as quickly as we can

Don’t you think it is time, that we’re free from this jail

Don’t you think it is time, dear Moshe of mine

Chaverel, it is time, and I planned that too

So let’s attack him, together, together me and you

מגיד שיעור, do you hear, we’re coming closer, we’re coming near

It is time you paid the price, for what you did all these years

Written in Staten Island 5769

Camp

T.T.T.O. יפרח בימיו צדיק

After Hachnoso L’Cheder from when I’m fully blown
I’m glad I'm given two months to leave home
Crown Heights is filled with contaminated air
I'm lucky I survived to make it here

12345 I got chased by a beehive
I ran to the pool to quickly take a dive
I slipped on the board and as I fell inside
I felt my belly flop against the tide

Written in Oholei Torah 5772

Masmidim

T.T.T.O. Elokai (Daskal)

My socks are filled with rocks
My pants is full of ants
My shirt is full of dirt
And my Clothes have many holes

Mommy please help me
The Masmidim came and raided my bunk
Mommy save me
I’m all alone dear Mommy


Written in Oholei Torah 5772

Mishmor

T.T.T.O. Visiting day

Mishmor has come to an end
Oholei Torah's steps we no more ascend
Hurt and worn out we would be
When we got up Finally

We would all sit down and learn
The nosh that we ate, made our heads turn
Fun games by night activity
The director thought he was funny

The next Thursday night at home
Meir was sitting alone
His Bochur and nosh just was not there
And no plastic chair

A tear rolls down from his cheek
How will I exercise this week
I now understand why the steps we must climb
And learn the whole time

Written in Oholei Torah for Mishmor 5772

Shabbaton

T.T.T.O. Adon Olam

This Shabbaton is great, totally insane
Yossi and Yossi should have took the train
Fun day and night, and we never fight
And all the staff keep disappearing from our sight

Written on Oholei Torah Shabbaton 5772

Kinus Yaldei Hashluchim

Chorus
We're the Rebbe's Shluchim
We're gonna bring Moshiach and bring him now
We're the Rebbe's Shluchim
We want Moshiach now

We sleep for two hours in the hallway
Then we walk around sleepy the entire day
When we are wearing our blue T-shirt
Everyone stares at us as if we're hurt

Written during Kinnus Yaldei Hashluchim 5772

א בחור אין זאל

א געשריי און א געוואלד און א געפילדער
א בחור אין זאל זיצט און האקט בילדער

ער זיצט און ער ווארט קוקט אף דער צייט
ווען וועט ער שוין קענען זיין באפרייט

Written in Oholei Torah Zal 5772

Tishrei guests

T.T.T.O. The big event

You see a new face, so you shake his hand
What language he's talking you don't understand
The place starts filling up to the brim
I think I know which month you're in

chorus
The Tishrei guests, oh no
The Tishrei guests, oh no
The Tishrei guests, oh no
Let's get ready for the Tishrei guests

Written in Oholei Torah 5772

Post-camp counselor

T.T.T.O. Rebbe I'll do it

Sometimes it's so hard to fall asleep
Lying on a mattress so cheap
The morning draws near, Seder's almost here
I don't know why, how hard I try, I just cannot do it

My friends they all do seem to know
A second after they lie down they go
During the day, I can drift away
It comes at night, it's a whole fight, I turnover for hours

Chorus
How do they do it, to sleep to the fullest
If they're not a counselor, or a learning teacher
Twenty four-seven working, in camp soldiers of the king
Then I can fall asleep on anything

Written in Oholei Torah 5772

Sleeping in

T.T.T.O. For as a Chossid

Chorus

For as a puffer, it’s all clear to me

That in my mattress, is where I must be

This is my bed, I proudly declare

There’s no doubt I’m gonna sleep here

This is the bed where I often do come

It’s here where my Chayus and Koach comes from

My wonderful mattress, here I will Shluff

Until the morning I will just puff X2

Written in Camp Chayolei Hamelech 5771

Staff lounge

T.T.T.O. The baby was crying

Chorus

The counselor was crying, as he toiled endlessly

It was then that he realized, his job here is crazy [that his campers are crazy]

So he sat down once again, in the staff lounge to rest

Thank you for the staff lounge, it is surely the best

Staff lounge we come here, a thousand times a day

When some peace of mind, we try to find, it’s to here we make our way

A moment of comfort, a warm enriching coffee

Staff lounge you’re the greatest, with you I’ll always be

Written in Camp Chayolei Hamelech 5771

Grammen

Chayolei Hamelech 5771 Color War Grammen 

Yossel Friedman Yossel Friedman

At the fire when you said the story

I didn’t yet know about your fame and glory

But Yossel Yossel

Although now you’re seated with the elite

Next time please give someone else your seat

Zalman Sandhaus Zalman Sandhaus

In the middle of the fall

They hired you for Chayolei not montreal

But Zalman Zalman

Although now you’re so happy to be a judge

When it comes to lights out you just don’t budge

Ari Abramowitz Ari Abramowitz

What happened to the days of old

Last year you were more crazy I was told

But don’t worry Ari

You can continue to sleep all day thru

Cause this year we have Aibidoola Aibidoo

Yisroel Silverstein Yisroel Silverstein

Riding a golf cart is your claim to fame

And as a ventriloquist you put all else to shame

But Yisroel Yisroel

I don’t mean to offend his holy sir

But I think you were hired as learning director

Uncle crazy uncle crazy

There’s so much to make fun of you

Because you turned this camp into a zoo

But don’t worry Zalmy

To offend you I won’t do

I don’t want to get a black and blue

Yisroel Yarmak Yisroel Yarmak

From learning teacher to counselor you were promoted

Iz a Rayeh that you are quite devoted

But Yisroel Yisroel

I'll say it out Reich and flat

Why don't you wear a jacket and hat

Bunk Ches Banquet Grammen

Boruch Liborow Boruch Liborow
The first funny thing on my list
Was when you waited for a package which didn’t exist
Mordy Kadanar Mordy Kadanar
You love to sing all away
There’s a reason I left on Visiting day

Mutty Strenberg Mutty Strenberg
When we’re about to give you a Shishim Shono card
You ask for it and it becomes hard
Mendel Rodal Mendel Rodal
To Oholei Torah you are new
So we would like to welcome you to our wonderful zoo

Mendel Borochov Mendel Borochov
You didn’t seem to care
When Mendel Notik said you have a Chassidishe Tziyur
Mendel Weinbaum Mendel Weinbaum
When you came to lineup you were looking for the hill
Then you realized it wasn’t Parkville

Complain, complain, complain, complain
Complain, complain, complain, complain
Complain, complain, complain, complain
Levi Laufer I’m calling your name

Mendel Mendel
Your last name is Hendel
So why is there no Yechi written on your Yarmulka and  Bendel
But Mendel Mendel
On Friday you were making some trouble
You sat in the Mikvah and popped every bubble

Shmuli Sandhaus Shmuli Sandhaus
On the bus you thought I came from the zoo
Little did you know I sleep all day through
But Shmuli Shmuli
When you get home tell your mother
Next time don’t put me in camp with my brother

Efraim Barber Efraim Barber
You thought the way to get a late night
Was to go on stage and start a fight
But Efraim Efraim
Apply the Tanya you know by heart to what you do daily
Them maybe one day you’ll be like Naftali

Bunk Ches Bunk Ches
You never make up your mind
Everyday someone else to pick on, you do find
But Bunk Ches Bunk Ches
Next summer I won’t be your counselor
But I might be your night activity director

Bunk Ches 5771 Reunion 5772 Grammen

Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
When you catch the bags in 770
It might help if you shared some of your candy
But Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
Now that I made fun of you, you wonna punch my lip
But don’t forget I let you go on the whole grand trip

Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
When not to come to Mesibas Shabbos some do choose
You’re the only one with a good excuse
Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
It’s not because you’re lazy to walk far away
It’s just not worth it to walk a whole day

Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
You wanted to go on or with me on Tahalucha
But my shoulders were hurting so I went with my Mishpacha
But Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
To show your teeth in the bunk picture looks like it hurt
Maybe it’s because your teeth matched your shirt

Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
Up and down on Simchas Torah you were busy
And by Simchas Beis Hashoieivah you looked quite dizzy
So Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
What would help you, I asked Naftali
He said you should learn from Tzvi how to be more Jumpy

Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
You’re counselor doesn’t know how to use photo-shop
Because of that sadly there was a little flop
But Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
Thank you for a Farbrengen so nice
And if you come to Mishmor I have a prize

Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
Thank you for the ride in your car
Because of that I’m much skinnier by far
But Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
I’ll let everyone know who you are
You still didn’t get your package so far

Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
I can see on your face
You didn’t think this would continue into Ayin Beis
But Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
הם לא יודעים על מי אני מדבר
ואתה היחיד שמבין מה שאני עכשיו אומר

Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
What time it was, we’ll keep it between me and you
But when you were doing Hoshanos I was doing it too
Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
Another thing similar between you and me
We don’t take anything seriously

Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
You made a reunion but only half the bunk came
I really hope you didn’t go insane
But Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
Just be happy it didn’t rain
I’m trying to get you not to complain

Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
If it is a very hot day
Don’t forget to put suntan lotion right away
Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
If you don’t then Oy Vey Vey
I’m gonna have to take your Daled Samach away

Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
In camp you would say that it’s not fair
And as your counselor I just didn’t care
But Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
Thank you for coming all the way here
Even though to you some did not appear

Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
When you came in I guessed who you are
According to your Yarmulka that I saw from far
Mr. guess who, Mr. guess who
I don’t really know your brother
I made up a story from my father’s mother

Bunk guess, bunk guess
The journal is coming out soon
As soon as the head staff land from the moon
But bunk guess, bunk guess
Before you read the journal I would like to make it clear
That everything in there, was written last year